


be the lightning in me (that strikes relentless)

by girlsarewolves



Category: Skinwalkers (2006)
Genre: F/M, Pre movie, script and movie canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 20:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1700885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlsarewolves/pseuds/girlsarewolves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She tells herself one day the emptiness will fill up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	be the lightning in me (that strikes relentless)

* * *

She tells herself one day the emptiness will fill up.  
  
She inhales deep until her lungs fill with smoke and holds her breath; counts to ten, twenty, thirty, sixty, seventy, eighty-eight.  
  
Her lungs burn and she exhales.  
  
All she ever takes in is smoke and mirrors. Nothingness. And it fills her, swirling and floating and weightless, but she feels like she could split apart at the seams.  
  
Full on air.  
  
She tells herself one day it'll fill up with something. Anything. Something solid and heavy and tangible.  
  
And she'll fit in her skin. And she'll grow into herself. And she'll look in the mirror and see herself, not a ghost. And she'll know, finally know what it's like to be a person.  
  
Not a shade.  
  
The cigarette burns away in her fingers, and she takes one more drag. Stomps it out and wishes it were alive, wishes it could feel the way she can't.  
  
Holds her breath and reaches ninety this time.  
  
She tells herself one day the emptiness will fill up.  
  
She pulls out another cigarette and stares at it, rolling it between her forefinger and thumb and tries to make herself care that it's her third in a row today.  
  
"You know those things will kill you," he says while offering her a light.  
  
She lifts her head, smart retort already on her tongue and ready to leave her lips, but she meets his eyes - and they glow, they're so full.  
  
He's so full he crackles with energy, life, something foreign and yet all she's ever longed for. He smiles and it's all teeth, too sharp and too big.  
  
She brings to cigarette to her face and takes the lighter from him, lights it up for herself, and inhales a lungful of smoke. Smiles back when she exhales.  
  
"Only if the boredom doesn't first."  
  
That smile grows darker, meaner, and his eyes are so full of something cruel, something hiding just beneath the surface. He doesn't bother to take the lighter back. He takes the cigarette instead and inhales.  
  
"I know better ways to deal with that."  
  
It sounds like a promise, and it sounds like an offer, and she wants to tell him that she'll set him on fire if he doesn't deliver.  
  
But she just grins wider. Pockets the lighter. "I'm Sonja."  
  
He holds out his empty hand and her cigarette, and she takes both. "Varek."   
  
It's a name she'll never forget. No matter what happens, she'll always remember that name and those eyes and that canine grin.  
  
She inhales deep until her lungs are full of his scent, worn leather and gasoline and sweat. She takes a drag of the cigarette and wonders if she'll ignite.  
  
Tells herself one day - today - the emptiness will fill up.


End file.
